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CHAPTER III.
CHAPTER III.
From
From
this day natural
philosophy,
philosophy,
and particularly
chemistry, in the most comprehensive sense of the term, became
chemistry, in the most comprehensive sense of the term, became
nearly my sole
occupation.
occupation.
I read with ardour
those
those
works,
works,
so full of genius and
discrimination,
discrimination,
which modern
inquirers have written
inquirers have written
on these subjects. I attended the lectures, and cultivated the
acquaintance,
acquaintance,
of the men of science of the university; and I found even in
M.
M.
Krempe a great deal of sound sense and real
information, combined,
information, combined,
it is
true,
true,
with a repulsive
physiognomy
physiognomy
and manners, but not on that account the less valuable. In M. Waldman I found a true friend. His gentleness was never tinged by
dogmatism;
dogmatism;
and his instructions were given with an air of frankness and good
nature,
nature,
that banished every idea of
pedantry.
pedantry.
It
It
was, perhaps,
was, perhaps,
the amiable character of this man that
the amiable character of this man that
inclined
inclined
me more to
me more to
that branch of
that branch of
natural philosophy which he
natural philosophy which he
professed,
professed,
than an intrinsic love for the science itself. But this
than an intrinsic love for the science itself. But this
state of mind had place
state of mind had place
only in the first steps towards
only in the first steps towards
knowledge:
knowledge:
the more fully
the more fully
I entered
I entered
into
into
the science,
the science,
the more
the more
exclusively
exclusively
I
I
pursued
pursued
it for its own sake. That
it for its own sake. That
application,
application,
which at first had been a matter of
which at first had been a matter of
duty
duty
and
and
resolution, now
resolution, now
became so ardent and
became so ardent and
eager,
eager,
that the stars often
disappeared
disappeared
in the light of morning
whilst
whilst
I was yet
engaged in my
engaged in my
laboratory.
laboratory. As I applied so closely, it may be easily conceived that
I improved rapidly.
I improved rapidly.
My ardour was indeed the astonishment of the
My ardour was indeed the astonishment of the
students;
students;
and my
proficiency,
proficiency,
that of the
masters.
masters.
Professor Krempe often asked
me,
me,
with a sly
smile,
smile,
how Cornelius Agrippa went
on? whilst
on? whilst
M.
Waldman
Waldman
expressed the most heartfelt exultation in my progress. Two years passed in this
manner,
manner,
during which I paid no visit to Geneva, but
was
was
engaged,
engaged,
heart and
soul,
soul,
in the pursuit of some
discoveries,
discoveries,
which I hoped to make.
None but those who have experienced
None but those who have experienced
them
them
can conceive of the enticements of
science.
science.
In other studies you go as far as others have
gone
gone
before
you,
you,
and there is nothing more to
know;
know;
but in a scientific pursuit
there is continual food for discovery and wonder. A mind of
there is continual food for discovery and wonder. A mind of
moderate
moderate
capacity, which
capacity, which
closely pursues one
study,
study,
must infallibly arrive at great proficiency in
that study; and I,
that study; and I,
who
continually
continually
sought the attainment of
sought the attainment of
one
object
object
of pursuit,
of pursuit,
and was
solely wrapt
solely wrapt
up
in
in
this,
this,
improved so
rapidly, that,
rapidly, that,
at the end of
two
two
years,
years,
I made
some
some
discoveries in the improvement of some chemical
discoveries in the improvement of some chemical
instruments,
instruments,
which procured me great esteem and admiration at the university.
When I had
When I had
arrived at this
point, and
point, and
had become as well acquainted with the theory and practice of natural philosophy as depended on the lessons of any of the professors at Ingolstadt, my residence
had become as well acquainted with the theory and practice of natural philosophy as depended on the lessons of any of the professors at Ingolstadt, my residence
there being no longer conducive to my
improvements,
improvements,
I thought of returning to my friends and
my native town, when an incident happened that protracted my stay.
my native town, when an incident happened that protracted my stay. One of
One of
the phenomena
the phenomena
which had
peculiarly attracted my attention was the structure of the human
peculiarly attracted my attention was the structure of the human
frame, and, indeed,
frame, and, indeed,
any animal endued with life.
Whence,
Whence,
I often asked
myself,
myself,
did
the
the
principle of life
proceed?
proceed?
It was a bold question, and one
which has ever been considered as a
which has ever been considered as a
mystery; yet with
mystery; yet with
how many things are we
upon
upon
the brink of becoming
acquainted,
acquainted,
if cowardice or carelessness did not restrain
our
our
inquiries.
inquiries.
I revolved these circumstances in my
mind,
mind,
and determined
thenceforth to apply myself more particularly to
thenceforth to apply myself more particularly to
those branches
those branches
of natural philosophy which
relate to
relate to
physiology.
physiology.
Unless I had been animated by an almost supernatural enthusiasm, my application to this study would have been
Unless I had been animated by an almost supernatural enthusiasm, my application to this study would have been
irksome,
irksome,
and almost intolerable. To examine the causes of
life,
life,
we must first have
recourse to death.
recourse to death.
I became acquainted with the science of
I became acquainted with the science of
anatomy:
anatomy:
but this was not
sufficient;
sufficient;
I must also observe the natural decay and corruption of the human body. In my education my father had taken the greatest precautions that my mind should
be impressed
be impressed
with no
with no
supernatural horrors. I do not ever remember
to have
to have
trembled at
a
a
tale of
superstition,
superstition,
or to have feared the apparition of a
spirit.
spirit.
Darkness had no effect upon my
fancy;
fancy;
and a
churchyard
churchyard
was to me merely
the receptacle of
the receptacle of
bodies deprived of
bodies deprived of
life, which,
life, which,
from being the seat of beauty
and strength, had become
and strength, had become
food for the worm.
Now I was
Now I was
led
led
to examine the
cause and progress of this
cause and progress of this
decay,
decay,
and forced to spend days and nights in vaults and
charnel-houses.
charnel-houses.
My attention was fixed upon every
object
object
the most insupportable to the delicacy of the human feelings.
the most insupportable to the delicacy of the human feelings.
I saw how the fine form of
I saw how the fine form of
man
man
was
was
degraded and
wasted;
wasted;
I beheld the corruption of death succeed to the blooming cheek of
life;
life;
I saw how the
worm
worm
inherited the wonders of the eye and brain. I paused,
examining
examining
and
analysing
analysing
all the minutiæ of
causation,
causation,
as exemplified in the change from life to death,
and death
and death
to life,
until
until
from the midst of this darkness a sudden light broke in upon
me—a
me—a
light so brilliant and
wondrous,
wondrous,
yet so
simple,
simple,
that while
I
I
became dizzy with the immensity of the prospect which it illustrated, I was
surprised,
surprised,
that
among so many men of
among so many men of
genius
genius
who had
directed their inquiries towards
directed their inquiries towards
the same
science, that I alone should be reserved to
science, that I alone should be reserved to
discover
so
so
astonishing a
astonishing a
secret.
secret.
Remember,
Remember,
I am
not recording the
not recording the
vision
vision
of a
of a
madman.
madman.
The sun does not more certainly shine in the
heavens,
heavens,
than that
which
which
I now
affirm
affirm
is true. Some miracle might have produced
it, yet the stages of the
it, yet the stages of the
discovery were distinct and probable. After days and nights of incredible
labour
labour
and
fatigue,
fatigue,
I succeeded in discovering the cause of generation and
life; nay,
life; nay,
more, I
became
became
myself capable of bestowing animation upon lifeless matter.
The
The
astonishment
astonishment
which I
had
had
at first experienced on this discovery soon gave place to delight and rapture.
After so much
After so much
time spent in painful
time spent in painful
labour,
labour,
to arrive at
once
once
at the
summit
summit
of my
desires,
desires,
was the most gratifying
consummation of my toils.
consummation of my toils.
But this discovery was so great and
overwhelming,
overwhelming,
that
all the steps
all the steps
by which I had been
by which I had been
progressively led to it were
obliterated,
obliterated,
and I
beheld
beheld
only the result. What had been the study and desire of the
wisest men since the creation of the
wisest men since the creation of the
world,
world,
was now
within
within
my
grasp.
grasp.
Not that, like a magic
scene,
scene,
it all opened upon me at
once:
once:
the
information I had obtained was
information I had obtained was
of a nature
of a nature
rather
to
to
direct my
endeavours
endeavours
so soon as I should point them towards the object of my search, than to exhibit that object already accomplished. I was like the Arabian
who had been buried with the dead, and found a passage to
who had been buried with the dead, and found a passage to
life,
life,
aided only by one
glimmering,
glimmering,
and seemingly
ineffectual,
ineffectual,
light. I see by your
eagerness,
eagerness,
and the wonder and hope which your eyes express, my friend, that you expect to be informed of the
secret with which I am
secret with which I am
acquainted;
acquainted;
that cannot
be:
be:
listen patiently
until
until
the end of my
story,
story,
and you will easily perceive why I am reserved upon that
subject.
subject.
I will not lead you on,
unguarded and ardent as I then was, to your
unguarded and ardent as I then was, to your
destruction and infallible misery. Learn from me, if not by my
destruction and infallible misery. Learn from me, if not by my
precepts,
precepts,
at least by my example, how dangerous is the acquirement of
knowledge,
knowledge,
and how much happier that man is who believes his native town
to be the world,
to be the world,
than he
who
who
aspires to become greater than his nature
will allow.
will allow.
When I found
When I found
so astonishing a power placed
within
within
my
hands,
hands,
I hesitated a long time concerning the
manner in which
manner in which
I should
employ
employ
it. Although I
possessed the capacity of bestowing
possessed the capacity of bestowing
animation,
animation,
yet
to
to
prepare
prepare
a
frame
frame
for the
for the
reception of
reception of
it,
it,
with all its intricacies of
fibres, muscles,
fibres, muscles,
and
veins,
veins,
still remained a work of inconceivable
difficulty and labour.
difficulty and labour.
I doubted at first whether I should attempt the creation of a
being like
being like
myself,
myself,
or one of simpler organization;
but my imagination was too much exalted by my first success to permit me to doubt of my
but my imagination was too much exalted by my first success to permit me to doubt of my
ability to
ability to
give life
give life
to
to
an animal
an animal
as complex and wonderful as man.
The materials at present within my command
The materials at present within my command
hardly appeared adequate to so
arduous
arduous
an undertaking;
but I doubted not that I should
but I doubted not that I should
ultimately
ultimately
succeed.
I prepared myself for a multitude of
I prepared myself for a multitude of
reverses;
reverses;
my operations
might
might
be
incessantly baffled,
incessantly baffled,
and at last my work be
imperfect:
imperfect:
yet, when I considered the improvement
which
which
every day takes place in science and
mechanics,
mechanics,
I was encouraged to
hope
hope
my present
my present
attempts would
at least
at least
lay the foundations of future
lay the foundations of future
success. Nor
success. Nor
could I consider
the magnitude and
the magnitude and
complexity
complexity
of my plan
as any argument of its impracticability.
as any argument of its impracticability.
It was with these feelings
It was with these feelings
that
that
I began the creation of a human being. As the
minuteness
minuteness
of the parts
formed
formed
a great
hindrance
hindrance
to my
speed,
speed,
I resolved, contrary to my first intention, to make
the being
the being
of a gigantic stature; that is to
of a gigantic stature; that is to
say,
say,
about
eight feet in height, and proportionably large.
eight feet in height, and proportionably large.
After having formed this
After having formed this
determination,
determination,
and having spent some months in
successfully collecting and arranging
successfully collecting and arranging
my materials, I began. No one can conceive
the variety of feelings which
the variety of feelings which
bore
bore
me
onwards, like a hurricane, in the first enthusiasm of success.
onwards, like a hurricane, in the first enthusiasm of success.
Life and death appeared to me ideal bounds, which I should first break
through,
through,
and pour a torrent of light into our dark world. A new
species
species
would bless me as its
creator
creator
and source; many happy and excellent
natures
natures
would owe their
being
being
to me.
No father could claim the gratitude of his child
No father could claim the gratitude of his child
so completely as I should deserve
so completely as I should deserve
theirs. Pursuing
theirs. Pursuing
these
reflections,
reflections,
I
thought,
thought,
that if I could bestow
animation
animation
upon
lifeless
lifeless
matter,
matter,
I might in process of time (although I now found it impossible) renew life where death had apparently devoted the body to corruption. These thoughts supported my
spirits,
spirits,
while I pursued my
undertaking with unremitting
undertaking with unremitting
ardour.
ardour.
My cheek
had grown
had grown
pale with study, and
my person
my person
had become
had become
emaciated
with
with
confinement.
Sometimes,
Sometimes,
on the very brink of
certainty,
certainty,
I
failed;
failed;
yet
still I
still I
clung to the hope which the next day or the
next hour might
next hour might
realize.
realize.
One secret which I alone
possessed
possessed
was the hope to which I
had dedicated myself;
had dedicated myself;
and the moon gazed on my midnight
labours, while,
labours, while,
with unrelaxed and breathless
eagerness,
eagerness,
I pursued nature to her
hiding-places.
hiding-places.
Who shall
conceive
conceive
the horrors of my secret
toil,
toil,
as I dabbled among the unhallowed damps of the grave, or tortured the living
animal to animate
animal to animate
the
the
lifeless clay?
My limbs now
My limbs now
tremble,
tremble,
and my eyes swim with the
remembrance;
remembrance;
but then a
resistless,
resistless,
and
almost
almost
frantic
frantic
impulse,
impulse,
urged me
forward;
forward;
I seemed to have lost all soul or sensation but for
this one pursuit. It was indeed but
this one pursuit. It was indeed but
a passing
trance,
trance,
that only made me feel with renewed acuteness
so soon
so soon
as,
as,
the unnatural
stimulus ceasing
stimulus ceasing
to operate,
I had returned to my old habits. I collected bones from
I had returned to my old habits. I collected bones from
charnel-houses; and disturbed,
charnel-houses; and disturbed,
with profane
fingers, the tremendous
fingers, the tremendous
secrets of the human frame. In a solitary
chamber, or
chamber, or
rather
cell,
cell,
at the top of the
house,
house,
and
separated from all the
separated from all the
other
apartments
apartments
by a gallery and
staircase,
staircase,
I
kept my workshop of filthy
kept my workshop of filthy
creation:
creation:
my
eyeballs
eyeballs
were starting from their sockets in attending to the
details
details
of
my employment. The dissecting room and the
my employment. The dissecting room and the
slaughter-house
slaughter-house
furnished many of my
materials;
materials;
and often did my human nature turn
with loathing from my occupation, whilst,
with loathing from my occupation, whilst,
still urged on by an eagerness which perpetually
increased,
increased,
I brought my work
near to
near to
a conclusion. The
summer months passed while I was thus
summer months passed while I was thus
engaged, heart and soul, in one pursuit. It was a most beautiful
engaged, heart and soul, in one pursuit. It was a most beautiful
season;
season;
never did the fields bestow a more plentiful harvest, or the vines
yield
yield
a more luxuriant
vintage:
vintage:
but my eyes were
insensible
insensible
to the charms of
nature.
nature.
And the same feelings which
made
made
me
neglect the scenes around me caused me also to forget those friends who were so many miles
neglect the scenes around me caused me also to forget those friends who were so many miles
absent,
absent,
and whom I had not seen for so long a time. I knew
my silence disquieted
my silence disquieted
them;
them;
and I well remembered the words of my
father:
father:
“I know that while
you
you
are pleased with
yourself,
yourself,
you
will
will
think of us with
affection, and
affection, and
we shall hear regularly from
you.
you.
You must pardon
me
me
if
if
I regard
any interruption
any interruption
in
in
your
correspondence
correspondence
as a proof
that
that
your other
duties
duties
are equally
neglected.”
neglected.” I
knew well therefore what
knew well therefore what
would be
would be
my father’s feelings;
my father’s feelings;
but I could not tear my thoughts from my
employment,
employment,
loathsome in
itself,
itself,
but which had taken
an
an
irresistible hold of my
imagination. I
imagination. I
wished,
wished,
as it
were,
were,
to
procrastinate
procrastinate
all that related to
all that related to
my feelings of
affection until
affection until
the great
object,
object,
which swallowed up every habit of my
nature,
nature,
should be
completed.
completed.
I then thought that my father would be
unjust
unjust
if he
if he
ascribed my neglect to
vice,
vice,
or faultiness on my part; but I am now convinced that
he was
he was
justified
justified
in conceiving that I should not be altogether free from blame.
A human being in perfection ought
A human being in perfection ought
always to preserve a
calm and peaceful
calm and peaceful
mind,
mind,
and never to allow passion or
a
a
transitory desire to disturb his tranquillity. I do not think that the pursuit of knowledge is
an
an
exception to this rule. If the study to which you apply yourself has a
tendency to weaken your
tendency to weaken your
affections,
affections,
and to destroy your taste for those simple pleasures in which no alloy can possibly
mix,
mix,
then that study is certainly
unlawful,
unlawful,
that
is to
is to
say,
say,
not befitting
the human mind. If this
the human mind. If this
rule
rule
were
were
always
always
observed; if no man allowed any pursuit whatsoever to interfere with
the
the
tranquillity
of
of
his domestic
affections,
affections,
Greece had
not
not
been
enslaved;
enslaved;
Cæsar would have spared his
country;
country;
America would have been discovered more
gradually;
gradually;
and the empires of Mexico and Peru had not been destroyed. But I forget that I am
moralizing
moralizing
in the most
interesting
interesting
part of my tale; and your looks remind me to proceed. My father made no reproach in his
letters,
letters,
and only took notice of my silence by
and only took notice of my silence by
inquiring
inquiring
into
into
my
occupations
occupations
more particularly than before. Winter, spring,
more particularly than before. Winter, spring,
and summer passed away during my
labours;
labours;
but I did not watch the blossom or the expanding leaves—sights which before
always yielded
always yielded
me supreme
delight—so
delight—so
deeply was I
engrossed in
engrossed in
my occupation. The leaves of that year
had withered before my work drew near to
had withered before my work drew near to
a
close;
close;
and now every day
showed
showed
me more plainly how well I had succeeded. But my enthusiasm was checked by my
anxiety,
anxiety,
and I appeared rather like one doomed by slavery to toil in the
mines,
mines,
or any other
unwholesome trade,
unwholesome trade,
than an artist occupied
by
by
his favourite employment. Every
night
night
I was oppressed by a slow fever,
I was oppressed by a slow fever,
and I became
nervous
nervous
to a
most painful degree;
most painful degree;
a disease that I regretted the more because I had hitherto enjoyed most excellent health, and had always boasted of the firmness of my nerves. But
a disease that I regretted the more because I had hitherto enjoyed most excellent health, and had always boasted of the firmness of my nerves. But
I believed that exercise and amusement would
soon
soon
drive away
drive away
such symptoms;
such symptoms;
and I promised myself both of
these
these
when my creation should be complete.
when my creation should be complete.