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Chap. 13

Nothing is more painful

^{^}than

when the mind has been worked up by a ^{^}quick

S succession of

events,✗—for a dead calm of inaction and certainty to —✗

of inaction & certainty

the dead calmness

^{^}

^ which

follow ^{^}s

~~which~~

^{^}and

deprives the

~~mind~~

^{^}

soul

both of hope or fear. Justine died— She rested.

~~But~~

^{^}&

I was alive the blood flowed freely in my veins but a weight of despair & remorse pressed on my heart which nothing could remove–✗— our house was a house of mourning– My fathers health was deeply shaken by the horror of the recent events;Elizabeth was sad and desponding– She no longer took delight in her ordinary occupations all pleasure seemed to her sacriledge towards the dead— eternal woe and tears she then thought was the just tribute she ought to pay to innocence thus blasted & ~~destroyed~~ —✗Sleep fled from my eyes. I wandered like an evil spirit for I

~~done~~

^{^}

had committed deeds of

mischief beyond

description

^{^}

horrible,

and ~~^{^}hor~~ more much more (I persuaded my self) was yet in store. Yet my heart overflowed with kindness and

~~benevolence~~

^{^}goodness

– I had begun life with benevolent intentions and thirsted for the moment when I

^{^}could

put them in practise and make myself useful to my fellow beings. ~~But~~

^{^}N

ow all was blasted ^{^}; Instead of seren

^{^}i

ty of conscience which allowed me to look back on my actions with self satisfaction, and from thence

^{^}to gather promise of

new hopes ✗—like gay-sweet-smelling flowers to spring up with regard to futurity —✗. I was seized by remorse and guilt, and hurried away to a hell

~~no tongue~~

^{^}

of intense

tortures such as

no language can describe. This state of mind

~~allt~~

~~altered~~

^{^}

preyed upon

my health which had

~~nearly~~

^{^}entirely

recovered from the first shock it had sustained. I shunned the face of man; all sound of joy or complacency was torture to me ^{^}; Solitude was my only consolation deep, dark,

~~night~~

death-like solitude. My father observed with pain

~~how~~

^{^}

the alteration perceptible in

my dispositions & habits,

~~were altered~~

and

endeavoured

reason

with

the

folly of giving way to immoderate grief. "Do you think, Victor" said he "That I do not suffer also– no one

^{^}

could

love

a child more than I

~~did~~

^{^}

loved

your brother– ( ~~and~~ tears came ~~into~~ into his eyes as he said this) but is ^{^}it not

~~our~~

^{^}

duty ✗—not to add to the grief of —✗ ~~owed~~ to the

ir survivors

~~not~~

~~add to~~

that we should refrain from

~~adding to~~

augmenting

their unhappiness by an appearance of immoderate grief. It is also a duty owed to yourself; for excessive sorrow prevents improvement or enjoyment, or even the discharge of day^{^}ly usefullness without which no man is fit for society." ¶

This advice, although good, was utterly innaplicable to my case; I should have been the first to hide my grief and console my friends if remorse had not mingled its bitterness with my other sensations. Now I could only answer my father with a look of despair and endeavour to hide myself from his view. About this time ~~also~~ we retired to our house at Belrive. This

~~chal~~ change was

very agreable to me in particular. The shutting of the gates of the town regularly at ten o'clock and the impossibility of

~~stay~~

~~^{^}ing~~

^{^}

remaining

on the lake after that hour rendered our residence within the walls of Geneva very irksome to me. I was now free: often, after the rest of the family had retired for the night I took the boat and passed the night upon the water: sometimes with my sails set I was carried by the wind and sometimes after wo rowing into the middle of the lake I left the boat to

~~take~~

^{^}

pursue

its own course and

~~followed~~

^{^}gave way

^{^}

my own miserable reflections. I was often tempted w when all was

~~quiet~~

^{^}at peace

around me and I the only unquiet thing that wandered restless in a scene so beautiful ^{^}&

heavenly;

if I except alone some bat, or the

^{^}

frogs, whose

harsh and interrupted croaking

~~of the frogs~~

~~which~~

^{^}

was

I heard only when I approached the

shore; often I say, I was tempted to plunge into the ~~still and~~ silent

lake

~~and let~~

^{^}that

the waters

^{^}

might

close over me &my calamities for ever. But I was restrained when I thought of the heroic ^{^}&suffering Elizabeth whom I tenderly loved, and whose existence was bound up in mine. And then I thought also of my father and surviving brother; ~~And~~ should I not by my base desertion leave them exposed & unprotected to the mali

^{^}c

e of the fiend I whom I had let lose among them? At these moments I wept bitterly and wished that peace would revisit my mind

^{^}

if only

—

that I might afford them consolation and

happiness — but that could not be: remorse

~~took away~~

^{^}

extinguished

every hope— I had been the

~~cause~~

^{^}

author

of unalterable evil, and I lived in daily fear ✗—that the dæmon —✗ ✗—of some new wickedness which —✗

^{^}let

the monster whom I had created might

~~commit~~

^{^}perpetrate

^{^}some new wickedness.

–I had a

^{^}

^{^}obscure

feeling that all was not over, and that he would still commit some signal

cr crime which by its enormity would

^{^}almost efface the recollection of the past.

^{^}

There was always scope for

fear so long as anything that I loved remained alive.

My abhorrence of this fiend cannot be conceived – When I thought of him I gnashed my teeth my eyes became inflamed and I ardently wished to extinguish that life which I had so thoughtlessly bestowed. When I ~~though~~ reflected on his crimes and malice, my hatred and revenge burst all bounds of moderation ✗—I wished but to see him again that I might —✗ I would have made a pilgrimageto the highest ^{^}peak of the Andes could I when there have precipitated him to their

~~foot~~

^{^}base

; I wished but to see him again that I might wreak the utmost extent of anger on his head and avenge the deaths of William and Justine. ¶

Our house was ~~now~~ the house of mourning, my father's health was deeply shaken by the horror of the recent events. Elizabeth was sad and desponding she no longer took delight in her ordinary occupations; all pleasure seemed to her sacriledge towards the dead; eter

^{^}

= nal

woe and tea

^{^}rs

she then thought was the just tribute she should pay to innocence so blasted and destroyed. She was no longer that happy creature ~~she had been when~~

~~last saw her~~

who in earlier youth had

~~– ' who ^{^}had~~ wandered with

on me on the banks of the

lakeand talked with extacy of our future prospects–

She

~~was~~

^{^}

had become

grave, and often

~~talked~~

^{^}

conversed

of the inconstancy of

fortune

and the instability of human

life—

"When I reflect, my dear Cousin," she said "on the miserable death of Justine Moritz, I no longer see ~~things~~ the world and its works

in the same light as they before appeared to

^{^}

me.

Before –

~~Stories~~

^{^}I looked upon the

accounts of vice and injustice that I read in books or heard from others as tales of ancient days orimaginary evils

^{^};

^{^}

At least they were remote, and more familiar to ✗—the beli —✗ reason than to

imagination

but now misery has come home and men appear to me as monsters thirsting for each others blood. Yet I am certainly unjust.–Every one believed that poor girl to be guilty, and if she

~~had~~

^{^}

could have committed the crime for which she suffered, assuredly she

would ~~she not~~ have been the most depraved of

^{^}

human

creatures. For the sake of a few jewels to have murdered the son of her benefactor & friend, a child whom she had nursed from its birth and appeared to love as if it had been

~~its~~ her own. I could not consent to the death of any human being

~~yet~~

^{^}but

certainly I should have thought such a

~~woman~~

^{^}being

~~unworthy of life~~

^{^}

unfit to remain in the society of men.

–

Yet she ~~she~~ was innocent–I know – I feel she was innocent You are of the same opinion and thatconfirms me. Alas, Victor! when

~~lies~~

~~appear~~

^{^}

falsehood

~~look~~

^{^}can look so like the truth, who can assure

them selves of certain happiness? I feel as if I were walking on the edge of precipiece towards which thousands are crowding &endeavouring to plunge me into the abyss.– William & Justine were assassinated and the murderer escap

^{^}es

, wearing human lineaments; he walks abou

^{^}t

the world free & perhaps respected. But if even if

~~tomo~~ I were

condemmed

to suffer on the scaffold for the same crimes I would not change places with such a wretch." ¶

I listened to this discourse with the extremest agony – I – not

~~ind~~

^{^}

deed

but in effect was the true murderer.— Elizabeth read my anguish in my countenance, and kindly taking my hand said–"My dearest cousin, you must calm yourself; these events have affected me

^{^}G

od knows how deeply! but I am not so wretched as you are. There is an expression of misery and sometimes of revenge in your countenance that makes me

tremble; be calm, my

~~^{^} best~~

Victor, I

^{^}w

ould sacrifice my life to your peace. We surely shall be happy; ~~quite~~

quiet in our native

country

and not

mingling in the

world what can disturb our tranquillity?"

She shed tears as she said

this

distrusting the very

solacewhich

she

gave,

~~but~~

^{^}

but

at the same time

smiled, that she might chase away the fiend that lurked in my heart. My

father

who saw in the unhappiness that was painted in my

face,

only an

exag ^{^}g eration

of that

w sorrow which I might naturally

feel

thought that an amusement suited to my taste would be the best means of restoring to me my wonted

serenity –

It was

th fro

^{^}m

this cause that he

a had removed to the

country&

~~from~~

^{^}induced by

the same

reasons

he now proposed that

I we should all

~~tak~~ take a journey

to the Valley of

^{^}h

amounix.

I had been there

before

but Elizabeth & Ernest never

had,

and both had often expressed

a wish

to see

this

place

which had been described to them as so wonderful & sublime. Accordingly we departed from Geneva on this tour about the middle of the month of august ~~more~~

~~than~~

nearly two months after the death of Justine. ¶

The weather was

beautiful

and if mine

d had been a sorrow to be

chasedaway

by any fleeting

circumstance

this

voyage

would certainly have had the effect

~~which~~

^{^}

intended by

father ~~intended~~ .

As it

was

was^{^}somewhat interrested ~~and sometimes~~

^{^}

in the

scene..it

sometimes

~~amused' .~~

^{^}

lulled,

^{^} ~~somehow~~ could not extinguish my grief.

_^during The first day we travelled in a carriage. In the morning we had seen the mountains at a

distance to

which we gradually advanced.

We perceived that the valley through which we wound, and which was formed by the

Arve

whose course we followed, closed

upon us by

degrees

and when the sun had

set

saw immense mountains &precipieces

overhanging

^{^}

~~each~~

^{^}

every

side

~~of us~~

& heard the sound of

~~moun~~

^{^}

the river raging

~~tain~~

~~streams~~

^{^}

among

rocks

, and the dashing of the waterfalls .

^{^}around.

The next day we pursued our journey

on mules

and as we ascended still higher; the valley assumed a more beautiful & verdant appearance – Ruined castles

_^^

^{^}

~~built~~

^{^}

hanging

on the precipices of

piny mountains; the impetuous Arve, and cottages every here & there peeping from among the trees, formed a scene of singular beauty.. But it was augment ^{^}ed &rendered sublime by the mighty alps whose white ^{^}& shining

~~pir~~

piramids & domes towered above all like ~~the~~ another earth —the habitations of another race of beings✗— Soone after we entered the valley of Chamounix. This valley is more ✗— beautiful

—✗

~~^{^}wondeful~~

and sublime but not so beau —✗ We passed the bridge of

~~Pellisier~~

Pellissier, where the ravine which the river forms opened before us and we began to ascend the mountain which over hung it–. Soon after we entered the Valley of Chamounix. This valley is more wonderful and sublimebut not so beautiful & picturesque as that of Servox; through which we had just passed. The high & snowy mountains w h ere its boundaries but t we saw no more ruined castles or fertile fields. Immense glaciers approached the road, ~~and~~ we heard the rumbling thunder of the falling Avelanche and marked the smoke of its passage.–Mont Blanc, the

✗—

beautiful

—✗

^{^}

supreme & magnificent

Mont Blanc raised itself from the surrounding

aiguilles

and its tremendous

dome

overlooked the valley. ¶

During this

journey

I sometimes joined

Elizabeth

and exerted myself to point out to her the various beauties of the

scene.— And often

~~let my~~

suffered my mule to lag

behind & indulged in the misery of reflection. At other times I spurred on

~~my mule~~

^{^}the animal

before my

companions

that I might forget them, the world,

and more than all

myself. When at

^{^}a

distance I alighted and threw myself on the grass ~~to shut out~~ weighed down by horror & despair. At eight in the evening

arrived at

Chamounix.

~~Myrtella~~

~~was~~

^{^}My father & Elizabeth were

very much

fatigued. a Ernest

who accompanied

us wasdelighted

and in high

spirits–

The only circumstance that detracted from his pleasure was the south

wind

and the rain

that that wind

seemed to promise

us for the next day.

We retired early to our

appartments

but not to

sleep:– at least I did not. I remained many hours at the window watching the

^{^}

pallid

lightning that played above Mont Blanc – and listening to the rushing of the Arve which ran

before

my window.