Variorum Viewer

Henry. Chap. 15

We were not allowed to converse for any length of time for the precarious state of my health rendered every precaution

~~^{^}that~~

necessary

^{^}

that could

ensure

tranquillity

. M r .. Kirwin came in &insisted that my

~~forces~~

^{^}

strength

should not be exhausted

~~by a prolonged con~~ by too much exertion. But the appearance of my father was to me like that of my good angel, and I gradually recovered my health. As my sickness quitted me I was absorbed by a

^{^}gloomy &

black melancholy that nothing could dissipate– The image of Cl

^{^}e

rval was for ever before me

~~pale~~

^{^}ghastly

& murdered – More than once the agitation

~~that~~

^{^}

into which

these reflections threw me into made my friends dread a dangerous

relapse ¶

Alas! Why did they preserve so miserable and detested a life? It was surely that I might fulfil my destiny which is drawing to a close— Soon Oh very soon will death extinguish these thro ^{^}b bings

^{^} releive me from

this mighty weight of anguish that bears me to the

~~ground~~

dust and in ex c ecuting the award of justice I shall also ~~thin~~ sink to rest. Then the

~~thought~~

^{^}

appearance

of death was distant although the wish was ever present to my thoughts & I often sat for hours motionless &speechless wishing for some mighty revolution that might bury me & my destroyer in its ruins. ¶

The season of the assizes approached– I had already been three months in prison & ~~allth~~ although I was still weak &

~~feverish~~

in continual danger of a relapse I was obliged to travel nearly a hundred miles to the county town where the court was held. M r . Kirwin charged himself with every care of collecting witnesses and arranging my defence– I was p spared the disgrace of appearing

~~in the court~~

^{^} publickly as a criminal

~~my trial did~~

the case was not brought before the

✗—last court —✗ court that decides on life &

death—

The Gran

^{^}d

Jury rejected the bill on its being proved that I was in the orkney Island ~~the~~ at the hour the body

~~was f~~

~~^{^}of m~~

of my friend was found. And a fortnight after my removal I was liberated from prison—My father was enraptured on finding me freed from the vexations of a criminal charge & that I was again permitted to breathe the fresh atmosphere & allowed to return to my native country. I did not participate in these feelings for ^{^}to me the walls of a dungeon or a ~~plal~~ palace were alike hateful – The cup of life was ~~to me~~ poisoned for ever & although the sun shone upon me as

^{^}

upon

the happy &

~~light~~

^{^}

gay

of heart I saw around me nothing but a dense &frightful darkness penetrated by no glimmer but ~~that of~~ the light of two eyes that glared upon me.– Sometimes they were the expressive eyes of Henry languishing in death – the dark orbs nearly covered by the lid & the ~~the~~ long lashes that fringed it – Sometimes it was the watry clouded eyes of the monster as I first saw them

^{^}

my chamber at Ingolstadt

My father tried to awake

^{^}in me the

feelings of affection — He talked of Geneva which I should soon visit – Of Elizabeth & Ernest But these words only drew from me deep groans — Sometimes indeed I felt a wish

^{^}for happiness;

had been so dear to me, in early childhood, but my general

^{^}

state of

feeling was

^{^}

torpor in which a prison was as welcome a ~~scene~~ residence as the divinest scene in nature & these fits were seldom interrupted but by paroxisms of anguish &despair – At these moments I often endeavoured to put an end to the existence I loathed & it required unceasing attendance & vigilance to

~~prevent~~

^{^}restrain

^{^} me me from

committing some dreadful act of violence.

remember

as I quitted the

prison

I heard one of the men

say – He

may be innocent of the

murder

but he has certainly a bad

conscien

^{^}c

e.– ¶

These words struck

me;

a bad

conscience, yes

surely I had

one –

William,

Justine

^{^}

^{^}e

rval

had died

^{^}

through

my infernal

machinations ~~And who is ^{^} ^ ' ^{^}to be the next victim I exclaimed~~ And

whose

death,

cried I,

to finish the

tragedy —

Ah! my

father

do not

let us remain in this wretched

country–

Take me where I

can

forget myself, my

existence

& all the

world.

My father easily

acceeded

to my

desire &

after having taken leave of

M r . Kirwin

we hastened to Dublin. I felt as if I was relieved from a heavy

weight

when the packet

set sail

with a fair wind from

Ireland

and I had quitted for ever the country which had been to me the scene of so much

misery – It was midnight, my father slept below in the cabin & I lay on the deck looking at the stars & listening to the dashing of the waves –I hailed the darkness that shut Ireland from my sight & my pulse beat with a feverish joy when I reflected that I should soon see Geneva The passed appeared to me

^{^}

in the

light ^{^}of a frightful dream yet the

~~place~~

~~^{^}vessel~~

~~in w~~ vessel in which I was – ~~the sea &~~ the wind that blew me from the detested shore of Ireland and the sea which surrounded me told me too forcibly that I was deceived by no vision & that Cl

^{^}e

rval my friend & dearest companion had fallen a victim to me & the

~~animal~~

^{^}

^{^}n

ster

of my creation.

I repassed in my memory my whole life; my quiet happiness when residing with my family in Geneva –The death of my Mother and my departure for Insgolstadt;

remembered with shuddering the mad enthusiasm that hurried me on to the creation of my hideous enemy & I called to my mind the night on which he first lived.

~~I un~~

^{^}I

^{^}

I was

able to

~~continue~~

^{^}

pursue

the train of thought –A thousand feelings pressed upon me & I wept bitterly.—

Ever since my recovery from the fever I had been in the custom of taking every night a small quantity of laudanum

for it was by means of this drug only that I was enabled to gain the

~~sleep~~

^{^}rest

necessary for the preservation of life.

O p pressed

by the recollection of my various misfortunes I now took a double dose & soon slept profoundly. But alas sleep did not afford me

~~rest~~

^{^}

respite

from thought &misery – my dreams s presented

~~to me~~

a thousand objects that scared

me–

towards mor

^{^}n

ing I was ~~opp~~ possessed by a kind of nightmare – I felt the fiends grasp on my neck and could not free myself from it—Groans & cries rung in my ears– My father who was watching over me,

~~and~~ perceiving my

restlessness he awoke me

and pointed

~~and pointed~~ to the port of

Holyhead

which we were now entering.

had resolved not to go to

London

but

~~to go~~

^{^}

cross the country to

Portsmouth

and

~~from~~ thence to embark

Havre. I preferred this

~~pan~~ plan principally because I dreaded to see again those places in which I had enjoyed a few moments of tranquillity with my beloved

^{^}e

rval – And

I thought with horror of seeing

those

men

whom we had been accustomed to visit

together

and

who, doubtless, would

make

enquiries

concerning an

event

the very remembrance of which

^{^}d

me again feel

what

I endured when I gazed on his lifeless

form.

As for my father;

his desires & exertions were bounded to the again seeing me

~~res~~ restored to health and peace of mind. His tenderness & attentions were

unremitt

^{^}ing

my grief and gloom was

o _^bs ti nate

but he would not despair.

Sometimes he thought that I felt deeply the degradation of being obliged to answer a charge of murder and he endeavoured to prove to me the futility of pride. Alas! my father, said I, how little do you know me: human beings, their feelings and passions would indeed be degraded if such a wretch as I felt pride. Justine poor unhappy Justine was as innocent as I and she suffered the same charge, she died for it – And I am the cause of this – I murdered her. William Justine & Henry, they all died by my hand

My father had often during my late confinement heard me make the same Assertion ✗—& his astonishment was extreme —✗. When

^{^}

~~heard me~~

^{^}

thus

~~thus~~

ac accuse ^{^}d myself, he sometimes seemed to desirean explanation & at others he appeared to consider it as caused by delirium &that ~~some idea~~ during my illness some idea of this kind had presented itself to my imagination t

the rememberance of which I preserved in my convalescence.

avoided explanation; I maintained a continual silence concerning the wretch I had created. I had a feeling that I should be supposed mad and this for ever

chained

my tongue when I would have given the whole world to have confided the fatal secret. Upon th

^{^}e

s ^{^}e occasion ^{^}s my father said with an expression of unbounded wonder What do you mean, Victor, are you mad? My dear son, I entreat you not to make so strange an assertion again.

I am not mad, I cried energetically, the sun & the heavens who have viewed my operations can bear witness of my truth. I was the assassin of those most innocent victims — they died by my machinations. A thousand times would I ~~rather~~ have shed my own

blood

drop d by drop to have saved their lives: But I could not, my father, indeed I could not sacrifice the whole human race.

The conclusion of this speech

persuaded my father that my ideas were deranged – and

^{^}

instantly chang

^{^}ing

the subject of our conversation

^{^}

endeavoured to alter the course of my thoughts. He wished as much as possible to obliterate the memory of the scenes in Ireland and never again alluded to them or suffered me to speak of my misfortunes. As time passed away I became more calm; misery had her dwelling in my heart but I no longer talked in the ^{^}same incoherent manner ~~I before did~~ of my own crimes; sufficient for me was the consciousness of them. By the utmost self violence I curbed the imperious voice of wretchedness which desired sometimes to declare itself to the whole world, & my manners were calmer & more composed than they had ever been since my journey to the Sea of Ice. Even my father who watched me as the bird does its n nestling was deceived and thought that the black melancholy which had oppressed me was quitting me for ever and that my native country & the society of my friends would entirely restore me to my former health & vivacity.

We arrived at Havre on the

~~February~~

^{^}

May

& instantly proceeded to Paris

where my father had some

business

which detained

^{^}

a few weeks.

~~I I rermain~~

~~with~~

~~him.~~ In this

city I received the following letter from Elizabeth:

To Victor Fankenstein

^{^}May

~~Feb.~~

18 – 17— My dearest Friend. It gave me the greatest pleasure to receive a letter from my Uncle dated at Paris. You are no longer at a formi

^{^}d

able distance and I may hope to see you in less than a fortnight. My poor Cousin! How much must you have suffered! I expect to see you looking even more ill than when you quitted Geneva. This winter has been passed most miserably but although happiness will not shine in our eyes for many months yet I hope to

^{^}

see

peace in your countenance & to find that your heart is not totally devoid of comfort & tranquility.

Yet I fear that , the same feelings now exist that made you so miserable a year ago even perhaps augmented by time. I would not at this period disturb you when so many misfortunes weigh upon you but a conversation that I had with my uncle previous to his departure renders some explanation necessary before we meet. ¶

Explanation, you may possibly say, what can Elizabeth have to explain? If you really say this my questions are answered and I have no more to do than to sign myself your affectionate cousin. But you are distant from me &✗—I can not —✗ it is possible that you may dread &yet be pleased with this explanation

✗—and if such could be the case I cannot delay it —✗ and

~~with~~

^{^}in

^{^}the

probability of this being the case I dare not postpone any longer to write what during your absence I have often wished to express to to you but have never had courage to begin. ¶

You

^{^}well

know, Victor, that it our union had been the favourite plan of my aunt and uncle ever since our infancy– We were told this when young and taught to look forward to it as an event that would certainly take place. We were affectionate playfellow^{^}s during childhood & I beli

^{^}e

ve dear &

~~beloved~~

^{^}

valued

friends to one another when we grew older. But as a brother & sister often entertain a lively affection towards

one another

^{^}without desiring a more intimate union

may not

~~this~~

^{^}

such

also be our case. Tell me, dearest Victor, Answer me, I conjure you by our mutual happiness, with simple truth do you not love

~~as you would wish to love a wife~~

another? ¶

You have travelled, you have spent

~~some~~

^{^}

several

years of you

^{^}r

life at Ingolstadt–&I confess to m you, my friend that when I saw you last Autumn so unhappy ~~& obstinately~~ flying from the society of every creature to solitude &despondency I could not help supposing that you might regret our connection & believe your self bound in honour to fulfil the wishes of your parents although they opposed themselves to your inclinations. But this is false resoning. ~~I lo~~ I confess to you my cousin that I ~~have~~ love you &that in my airy castles of futurity you have been my constant friend and companion. But it is your happiness I desire as well as my own ~~felicity~~ when I declare to you that our marriage would render me eternally miserable unless it were the dictate of your own free choice. Even now I weep when I co think that borne down as you are by the cruellest misfortunes you may stifle by the word honor all hope of that love & happiness which would alone

~~conduce to your felicity~~

^{^}

restore you to yourself.

I who have so disinterrested an affection for you may encrease your miseries tenfold by being an obstacle to your wishes Ah Victor be assured that you _^r cousin& playmate has too sincere a love for you not to be made wretched by this supposition. Be happy my friend and if you obey me in this one request be assured that nothing on earth will have the power to

~~disturb.~~

^{^}

interrupt

my tranquillity. ¶

Do not let this letter disturb you. Do y not answer it tomorrow or the next day or not even untill you come if it will give you pain. My Uncle will send me news of your health and if I see but one smile on your lips when we meet occasioned by this letter or any other exertion of mine I shall need no other