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CHAPTER IV.
CHAPTER IV.
I
WASWAS
soon
introduced into the presence of the
introduced into the presence of the
magistrate,
magistrate,
an
old benevolent
old benevolent
man,
man,
with calm and mild manners. He looked
upon
upon
me, however,
me, however,
with some degree of
severity;
severity;
and
then,
then,
turning towards my
conductors,
conductors,
he
asked who
asked who
appeared as witnesses on this
appeared as witnesses on this
occasion.
occasion.
About half a dozen men came
forward;
forward;
and
and
one being selected by the
magistrate,
magistrate,
he
deposed,
deposed,
that he had been out fishing the night before with his son
and
and
brother-in-law, Daniel Nugent,
when,
when,
about
ten o’clock,
ten o’clock,
they observed a strong northerly blast
rising,
rising,
and they accordingly put in for port. It was a very dark
night,
night,
as the moon had not yet risen; they did not
land
land
at the
harbour,
harbour,
but, as they had been accustomed, at a creek about two miles below. He
walked on first,
walked on first,
carrying a part of the fishing
tackle,
tackle,
and his companions followed him at some distance. As he was
proceeding
proceeding
along the
sands,
sands,
he
struck
struck
his foot against
something,
something,
and fell
all
all
his length on the
ground.
ground.
His
companions
companions
came up to assist
him; and,
him; and,
by the light of their
lantern,
lantern,
they
found
found
that he had fallen on the body of a
man,
man,
who was to all appearance dead.
Their first supposition
Their first supposition
was,
was,
that it was the corpse of
some person
some person
who had been
drowned,
drowned,
and
was
was
thrown on shore by the
waves; but,
waves; but,
upon
upon
examination,
examination,
they found that the clothes were not
wet,
wet,
and
even
even
that the body was not
then
then
cold. They instantly carried it to the cottage of an old woman near the
spot,
spot,
and
endeavoured,
endeavoured,
but in
vain,
vain,
to restore it to
life.
life.
He
He
appeared to
be
be
a handsome young
man,
man,
about
five andfive andfive and
twenty years of age. He had apparently been
strangled;
strangled;
for there was no sign of any
violence,
violence,
except the black mark of fingers on his neck. The first
part
part
of this deposition did not in the least
interest me;
interest me;
but when the mark of the fingers was
mentioned,
mentioned,
I remembered the
murder of my
murder of my
brother,
brother,
and felt myself extremely agitated; my limbs
trembled,
trembled,
and a mist came over my
eyes,
eyes,
which obliged me to lean on a chair for
support.
support.
The magistrate observed me with a keen
eye,
eye,
and of course drew an unfavourable augury
from
from
my manner. The son confirmed his
father’s account:
father’s account:
but when Daniel Nugent was
called,
called,
he swore positively
that,
that,
just before the fall of his
companion,
companion,
he saw a
boat,
boat,
with a single man in
it,
it,
at a short distance from the
shore; and,
shore; and,
as far as he could judge by the light of a few
stars,
stars,
it was the same boat in which I had just landed. A woman
deposed,
deposed,
that she lived near the
beach,
beach,
and was standing at the door of her
cottage,
cottage,
waiting for the return
of the
of the
fishermen,
fishermen,
about
an hour
an hour
before she heard of the discovery of the
body, when
body, when
she saw a
boat,
boat,
with only one
man in
man in
it,
it,
push off from that part of the shore where the corpse was afterwards found. Another woman confirmed the
account
account
of the
fishermen
fishermen
having brought the
body
body
into her
house; it
house; it
was not
cold. They
cold. They
put
it
it
into a
bed,
bed,
and rubbed
it;
it;
and Daniel went to the town for an
apothecary,
apothecary,
but life was quite gone. Several other men
were examined concerning my
were examined concerning my
landing;
landing;
and they
agreed, that,
agreed, that,
with the strong north wind that had
arisen
arisen
during the
night,
night,
it was very probable that I had beaten about for many
hours,
hours,
and
had
had
been obliged to return nearly to the same
spot
spot
from which I had
departed. Besides, they
departed. Besides, they
observed
observed
that it appeared
that
that
I had brought the body from another
place,
place,
and it was
likely,
likely,
that
as I did not appear to know the
as I did not appear to know the
shore,
shore,
I might have put
into
into
the harbour ignorant of the distance of the town of
——
——
from the place where I had deposited the
corpse.
corpse.
Mr. Kirwin,
Mr. Kirwin,
on hearing this
evidence,
evidence,
desired that I should be taken into the room where the body lay for
interment,
interment,
that it might be observed what effect the sight of it would produce
upon me. This idea was probably suggested by the extreme agitation I had exhibited
upon me. This idea was probably suggested by the extreme agitation I had exhibited
when the mode of the murder had been
when the mode of the murder had been
described. I was accordingly
described. I was accordingly
conducted,
conducted,
by the magistrate and several other
persons,
persons,
to the inn. I could not help being struck by the strange coincidences that had taken place during this eventful
night; but,
night; but,
knowing that I had been
conversing with several persons in the island I had inhabited about the time that the body
conversing with several persons in the island I had inhabited about the time that the body
had been
had been
found,
found,
I was perfectly tranquil as to the consequences of the affair. I entered the room where the
corpse
corpse
lay,
lay,
and was led up to the coffin. How can I
describe my sensations on beholding it?
describe my sensations on beholding it?
I feel yet parched with
horror,
horror,
nor can I
reflect on that terrible moment without shuddering and
reflect on that terrible moment without shuddering and
agony, that faintly reminds me of the anguish of recognition.
agony, that faintly reminds me of the anguish of recognition.
The
trial,
trial,
the presence of the magistrate and
witnesses,
witnesses,
passed like a dream from my
memory,
memory,
when I saw the lifeless form of Henry
Clerval stretched
Clerval stretched
before
me.
me.
I gasped for
breath; and,
breath; and,
throwing myself on the
body,
body,
I
exclaimed, “Have
exclaimed, “Have
my murderous machinations deprived you
also,
also,
my dearest
Henry,
Henry,
of
life?
life?
Two
I have already destroyed; other victims await their
I have already destroyed; other victims await their
destiny:
destiny:
but you,
Clerval,
Clerval,
my
friend,
friend,
my
benefactor—”
benefactor—”
The human frame could no longer support the
agonizing suffering
agonizing suffering
that I
endured,
endured,
and I was carried out of the room in strong convulsions. A fever succeeded to this. I lay for two months on the point of
death:
death:
my ravings, as I afterwards
heard,
heard,
were
frightful;
frightful;
I called myself the murderer of
William,
William,
of
Justine,
Justine,
and of
Clerval.
Clerval.
Sometimes I entreated my attendants to assist me in the destruction of the fiend by whom I was
tormented;
tormented;
and,
and,
at
others,
others,
I felt the
fingers
fingers
of the
monster
monster
already grasping my
neck,
neck,
and screamed aloud with agony and terror.
Fortunately,
Fortunately,
as I spoke my native
language, Mr.
language, Mr.
Kirwin alone understood
me;
me;
but my gestures and bitter cries were
sufficient
sufficient
to affright the other witnesses. Why did I not die? More miserable than man ever was
before,
before,
why did I not sink into
forgetfulness
forgetfulness
and
rest?
rest?
Death snatches away many blooming
children,
children,
the
only hopes of their doating
only hopes of their doating
parents:
parents:
how many brides and youthful lovers have been one day in the bloom of health
and hope,
and hope,
and the next a prey for worms and the decay of the tomb! Of what materials was I
made,
made,
that I could thus resist so many
shocks, which,
shocks, which,
like the turning of the
wheel,
wheel,
continually renewed the
torture.
torture.
But I was doomed to
live; and,
live; and,
in two
months,
months,
found myself
as
as
awaking from a dream, in a prison, stretched on a wretched
bed,
bed,
surrounded by
gaolers, turnkeys, bolts,
gaolers, turnkeys, bolts,
and all the miserable apparatus of a
dungeon. It
dungeon. It
was
morning,
morning,
I
remember,
remember,
when I thus awoke
to understanding:
to understanding:
I had forgotten
the particulars of
the particulars of
what had
happened,
happened,
and only felt as if some great
misfortune
misfortune
had
suddenly overwhelmed me;
suddenly overwhelmed me;
but when I looked
around,
around,
and saw the barred windows, and the squalidness of the room in which I was, all flashed across my
memory, and
memory, and
I groaned bitterly.
This sound disturbed an old woman who was sleeping in a chair beside me. She was a hired nurse, the wife of one of the
turnkeys,
turnkeys,
and her countenance expressed all those bad qualities which
often
often
characterixe that class.
characterixe that class.
The lines of
The lines of
her face
were
were
hard and
rude,
rude,
like that of
persons
persons
accustomed to see without
sympathizing
sympathizing
in sights of misery.
Her
Her
tone
tone
expressed her entire
indifference;
indifference;
she addressed me in
English,
English,
and the
voice
voice
struck me as one that I had heard during my
sufferings:
sufferings:
“Are
“Are
you better now,
Sir?”
Sir?”
said she. I replied in the same
language,
language,
with a feeble
voice, “I
voice, “I
believe I
am;
am;
but if it
be all true,
be all true,
if indeed I did not
dream,
dream,
I am sorry that I am still alive to feel
this
this
misery and
horror.”
horror.”
“For
“For
that
matter,”
matter,”
replied the old
woman,
woman,
“if
“if
you mean about the gentleman
you
you
murdered,
murdered,
I believe that it were better for you if you were
dead,
dead,
for I fancy it will go hard with
you; but you will be hung when the next sessions come on.
you; but you will be hung when the next sessions come on.
However, that’s
However, that’s
none of my
business,
business,
I am sent
to nurse
to nurse
you,
you,
and get you
well; I
well; I
do
my duty with a safe
my duty with a safe
conscience,
conscience,
it were well if
every body
every body
did the
same.”
same.”
I turned
with
with
loathing
loathing
from the woman who could utter so unfeeling a speech to
a
a
person
person
just
saved,
saved,
on the very edge of death; but I felt
languid,
languid,
and unable to reflect on all that had
passed.
passed.
The whole series of my life appeared
to me
to me
as a
dream;
dream;
I sometimes
doubted if indeed it
doubted if indeed it
were
were
all
true, for
true, for
it never presented itself to my mind with the
force
force
of reality.
As
As
the images that floated before me became more
distinct,
distinct,
I grew feverish; a darkness pressed around
me:
me:
no
one
one
was near me who soothed me with the gentle voice of love; no dear hand supported me. The
physician
physician
came and prescribed
medicines,
medicines,
and the old woman prepared them for
me;
me;
but utter carelessness was visible in the
first,
first,
and the
expression
expression
of brutality
was strongly
was strongly
marked in
marked in
the visage of the
second.
second.
Who could be
interested
interested
in the fate of a
murderer,
murderer,
but the hangman who would gain his fee?
These were my first
These were my first
reflections;
reflections;
but I soon learned that
Mr.
Mr.
Kirwin had
shewn
shewn
me extreme
kindness.
kindness.
He had caused the best room in the prison to be prepared for
me
me
(wretched indeed was the
best);
best);
and it was he who had provided a physician and
a nurse.
a nurse.
It is
true,
true,
he seldom came to see
me; for,
me; for,
although he ardently desired to relieve the sufferings of every human
creature,
creature,
he did not wish to be present at the agonies and miserable ravings of a
murderer.
murderer.
He
came, therefore,
came, therefore,
sometimes
sometimes
to see that I was not
neglected;
neglected;
but his visits
were
were
short,
short,
and
at
at
long
long
intervals. One
day,
day,
when
when
I was gradually
recovering,
recovering,
I was seated in a chair, my eyes half open, and my cheeks livid like those
in death,
in death,
I was overcome by gloom and
misery,
misery,
and often reflected
I had better
I had better
seek death
seek death
than remain miserably pent up only to be let loose in a world replete with wretchedness.
than remain miserably pent up only to be let loose in a world replete with wretchedness.
At one time I considered whether I should not
declare
declare
myself
guilty,
guilty,
and suffer the penalty
of the law, less innocent than poor Justine had been.
of the law, less innocent than poor Justine had been.
Such were my
thoughts,
thoughts,
when the door of my
apartment was opened,
apartment was opened,
and
Mr.
Mr.
Kirwin entered. His
countenance
countenance
expressed sympathy and
compassion;
compassion;
he drew a chair close to
mine,
mine,
and addressed me in
French—
French—
“I fear
“I fear
that this place is very shocking to you; can I do
any thing
any thing
to make you more
comfortable?”
comfortable?”
“I
“I
thank
you;
you;
but all that you mention is nothing to
me:
me:
on the whole earth there is no comfort which I am capable of
receiving.”
receiving.”
“I know
“I know
that the sympathy of a stranger can be
but of little
but of little
relief to one borne down as you are by so strange a
misfortune.
misfortune.
But you
will,
will,
I
hope,
hope,
soon quit this
melancholy abode; for, doubtless,
melancholy abode; for, doubtless,
evidence can
easily be
easily be
brought to free you from the criminal
charge.”
charge.”
“That
“That
is my least
concern: I am,
concern: I am,
by a course of strange events, become the most miserable of mortals. Persecuted and tortured as I am and have
been,
been,
can death be any evil to
me?”
me?”
“Nothing
“Nothing
indeed
could be more unfortunate and
could be more unfortunate and
agonizing
agonizing
than the strange chances that have lately
occurred. You were thrown, by some surprising accident, on this shore,
occurred. You were thrown, by some surprising accident, on this shore,
renowned
renowned
for its
hospitality
hospitality; seized immediately,
; seized immediately,
and charged with
murder.
murder.
The first sight that was presented to your eyes was the body of your
friend,
friend,
murdered in so unaccountable a
manner,
manner,
and
placed, as it were,
placed, as it were,
by some fiend
across your
across your
path.”
path.”
As
Mr.
Mr.
Kirwin said this, notwithstanding the agitation
I
I
endured on this retrospect of my
endured on this retrospect of my
sufferings, I
sufferings, I
also felt considerable surprise at the knowledge he seemed to possess concerning me. I suppose some astonishment was
exhibited
exhibited
in my
countenance;
countenance;
for
Mr.
Mr.
Kirwin hastened to
say—
say—“It was not until a day or two after your illness that I thought of examining your dress,
“It was not until a day or two after your illness that I thought of examining your dress,
that I might discover some trace by which I could send to your relations an account of your misfortune and illness. I found several
letters, and,
letters, and,
among
others,
others,
one
which I
which I
discovered
from
from
its commencement to be from your
father.
father.
I instantly wrote to
Geneva:
Geneva:
nearly two months
have elapsed
have elapsed
since the departure of my
letter.—But
letter.—But
you are
ill;
ill;
even now you
tremble:
tremble:
you
are
are
unfit for agitation of any
kind.”
kind.”
“This suspense
“This suspense
is a thousand times worse than the most horrible
event: tell
event: tell
me what new scene of
death
death
has been
acted,
acted,
and whose murder I am now to
lament.”
lament.”
“Your
“Your
family
is
is
perfectly
well,” said Mr. Kirwin,
well,” said Mr. Kirwin,
with gentleness;
“and
“and
some one, a friend, is come to visit
you.”
you.”
I know not
I know not
by what chain of
thought
thought
the idea presented
itself,
itself,
but it instantly darted into my mind that the
murderer
murderer
had come to mock at my
misery,
misery,
and taunt me with the death of
Clerval,
Clerval,
as a new incitement
for me
for me
to comply with his hellish desires. I put my hand before my
eyes,
eyes,
and cried out in
agony—
agony— “Oh!
“Oh!
take him
away!
away!
I cannot see
him;
him;
for
God’s sake,
God’s sake,
do not let him
enter!”
enter!”
Mr.
Mr.
Kirwin regarded me with a troubled countenance. He could not help regarding my exclamation as a presumption of my
guilt,
guilt,
and
said,
said,
in rather
a
a
severe
tone—
tone— “I
“I
should have thought, young man, that the presence of your father would have been
welcome,
welcome,
instead of
inspiring
inspiring
such violent
repugnance.”
repugnance.”
“My father!” cried
“My father!” cried
I, while every
feature and
feature and
every muscle was relaxed from anguish to
pleasure.
pleasure.
“Is
“Is
my
father, indeed,
father, indeed,
come?
come?
How kind, how very
kind.
kind.
But where is he, why does he not hasten to
me?”
me?”
My change of manner
surprised and pleased
surprised and pleased
the
magistrate;
magistrate;
perhaps he thought that my former exclamation was a momentary return of
delirium,
delirium,
and now he instantly resumed his former
benevolence.
benevolence.
He
rose,
rose,
and quitted the room with my
nurse,
nurse,
and in a
moment
moment
my father entered it.
Nothing,
Nothing,
at this
moment,
moment,
could have given
me
me
greater pleasure than the arrival of my
father.
father.
I stretched out my hand to
him,
him,
and
cried—
cried— “Are
“Are
you then
safe—and Elizabeth—and Ernest?”
safe—and Elizabeth—and Ernest?”
My father calmed me
with
with
assurances of their
welfare,
welfare,
and
endeavoured, by dwelling on these subjects so interesting to my heart, to raise my desponding spirits; but he soon felt that a prison cannot be the abode of cheerfulness. “What
endeavoured, by dwelling on these subjects so interesting to my heart, to raise my desponding spirits; but he soon felt that a prison cannot be the abode of cheerfulness. “What
a place
is
is
this
this
that you inhabit, my
son!” said he, looking mournfully
son!” said he, looking mournfully
at the barred
windows,
windows,
and
wretched appearance of the
wretched appearance of the
room. “You
room. “You
travelled to seek
happiness,
happiness,
but a fatality seems to
pursue
pursue
you. And
you. And
poor
Clerval—”
Clerval—”
The name of my unfortunate
and murdered
and murdered
friend
was an agitation too great to
was an agitation too great to
be endured in my weak
state; I
state; I
shed
tears.
tears. “Alas!
“Alas!
yes, my
father,” replied I; “some
father,” replied I; “some
destiny of the most horrible kind hangs over me, and I must live to fulfil it, or surely I should have died on the coffin of
Henry.”
Henry.”
We were not allowed to converse for any length of
time,
time,
for the precarious state of my health rendered every precaution
necessary that could
necessary that could
insure
insure
tranquillity. Mr.
tranquillity. Mr.
Kirwin came
in, and insisted
in, and insisted
that my
strength
strength
should not be exhausted
by too much exertion. But the appearance of my father was to me like that of my good angel, and I gradually recovered my health.
by too much exertion. But the appearance of my father was to me like that of my good angel, and I gradually recovered my health.
As my sickness quitted
me,
me,
I was absorbed by a
gloomy and black
gloomy and black
melancholy,
melancholy,
that nothing could
dissipate.
dissipate.
The image of
Clerval
Clerval
was for ever before
me,
me,
ghastly and
murdered.
murdered.
More than once the agitation
into which
into which
these reflections threw me
made my friends dread a dangerous
made my friends dread a dangerous
relapse.
relapse.
Alas! why did they preserve so miserable and detested a life? It was surely that I might fulfil my
destiny,
destiny,
which is
now
now
drawing to a
close. Soon, oh, very soon,
close. Soon, oh, very soon,
will death extinguish these
throbbings, and relieve
throbbings, and relieve
me from
the
the
mighty weight of anguish that bears me to the
dust; and,
dust; and,
in
executing
executing
the award of
justice,
justice,
I shall also
sink to rest. Then the
sink to rest. Then the
appearance
appearance
of death was
distant,
distant,
although the wish was ever present to my
thoughts;
thoughts;
and I often sat for hours motionless
and speechless,
and speechless,
wishing for some mighty revolution that might bury me and my destroyer in its ruins. The season of the assizes
approached.
approached.
I had already been three months in
prison;
prison;
and
although I was still
although I was still
weak,
weak,
and
in continual danger of a
in continual danger of a
relapse,
relapse,
I was obliged to travel nearly a hundred miles to the
county-town,
county-town,
where the court was held.
Mr.
Mr.
Kirwin charged himself with every care of collecting
witnesses,
witnesses,
and arranging my
defence.
defence.
I was
spared the disgrace of appearing
spared the disgrace of appearing
publicly
publicly
as a
criminal,
criminal,
as
the case was not brought before the
the case was not brought before the
court that decides on life and
court that decides on life and
death.
death.
The
grand
grand
jury rejected the
bill,
bill,
onon
its being proved that
I was onin the Orkney Islands
I was onin^in the Orkney Islands
at the hour the body
of my friend was
of my friend was
found,
found,
and a fortnight after my removal I was liberated from
prison.
prison. My
My
father was enraptured on finding me freed from the vexations of a criminal
charge,
charge,
that I was again
allowed
allowed
to breathe the fresh
atmosphere,
atmosphere,
and allowed to return to my native country. I did not participate in these
feelings;
feelings;
for to me the walls of a dungeon or a
palace were alike
palace were alike
hateful.
hateful.
The cup of life was
poisoned for
poisoned for
ever;
ever;
and although the sun shone upon
me,
me,
as
upon
upon
the happy and
gay
gay
of
heart,
heart,
I saw around me nothing but a dense
and frightful darkness,
and frightful darkness,
penetrated by
no light but the glimmer
no light but the glimmer
of two eyes that glared upon me. Sometimes they were the expressive eyes of
Henry,
Henry,
languishing in
death,
death,
the dark orbs nearly covered by the
lids,
lids,
and the
long
long
black
black
lashes that fringed
them;
them;
sometimes it was the
watery
watery
clouded eyes of the
monster,
monster,
as I first saw them
in
in
my chamber at
Ingolstadt.
Ingolstadt.
My father tried to
awaken
awaken
in me the feelings of
affection.
affection.
He talked of
Geneva,
Geneva,
which I should soon
visit—of
visit—of
Elizabeth,
Elizabeth,
and
Ernest;
Ernest;
but these words only drew
deep groans from me. Sometimes, indeed,
deep groans from me. Sometimes, indeed,
I felt a wish for
happiness; and thought, with melancholy delight, of my beloved cousin; or longed, with a devouring maladie du pays, to see once more the blue lake and rapid Rhone, that
happiness; and thought, with melancholy delight, of my beloved cousin; or longed, with a devouring maladie du pays, to see once more the blue lake and rapid Rhone, that
had been so dear to
me
me
in early
childhood:
childhood:
but my general
state of
state of
feeling was
a
a
torpor,
torpor,
in which a prison was as welcome a
residence as the divinest scene in
residence as the divinest scene in
nature;
nature;
and these fits were seldom
interrupted,
interrupted,
but by
paroxysms
paroxysms
of anguish
and despair.
and despair.
At these moments I often endeavoured to put an end to the existence I
loathed;
loathed;
and it required unceasing attendance and vigilance
to restrain me from committing some dreadful act of violence.
to restrain me from committing some dreadful act of violence.
I
I
remember,
remember,
as I quitted the
as I quitted the
prison,
prison,
I heard one of the men
I heard one of the men
say, “He
say, “He
may be innocent of the
may be innocent of the
murder,
murder,
but he has certainly a bad
but he has certainly a bad
conscience.”
conscience.”
These words struck
These words struck
me.
me.
A bad
A bad
conscience! yes,
conscience! yes,
surely I had
surely I had
one.
one.
William,
William,
Justine,
Justine,
and
and
Clerval,
Clerval,
had died
had died
through
through
my infernal
my infernal
machinations;
machinations;
“And
“And
whose
whose
death,”
death,”
cried I,
cried I,
“is
“is
to finish the
to finish the
tragedy?
tragedy?
Ah! my
Ah! my
father,
father,
do not
do not
remain in this wretched
remain in this wretched
country;
country;
take me where I
take me where I
may
may
forget myself, my
forget myself, my
existence,
existence,
and all the
and all the
world.”
world.”
My father easily
My father easily
acceded
acceded
to my
to my
desire; and,
desire; and,
after having taken leave of
after having taken leave of
Mr. Kirwin,
Mr. Kirwin,
we hastened to Dublin. I felt as if I was relieved from a heavy
we hastened to Dublin. I felt as if I was relieved from a heavy
weight,
weight,
when the packet
when the packet
sailed
sailed
with a fair wind from
with a fair wind from
Ireland,
Ireland,
and I had quitted for ever the country which had been to me the scene of so much
and I had quitted for ever the country which had been to me the scene of so much
misery.
misery. It was midnight. My father slept in the cabin; and I lay on the deck, looking at the stars,
It was midnight. My father slept in the cabin; and I lay on the deck, looking at the stars,
and listening to the dashing of the
waves. I
waves. I
hailed the darkness that shut Ireland from my
sight,
sight,
and my pulse beat with a feverish
joy,
joy,
when I reflected that I should soon see
Geneva.
Geneva.
The
past
past
appeared to me
in the
in the
light of a frightful
dream;
dream;
yet the
vessel in which I
vessel in which I
was,
was,
the wind that blew me from the detested shore of
Ireland,
Ireland,
and the sea which surrounded
me,
me,
told me too forcibly that I was deceived by no
vision,
vision,
and that
Clerval,
Clerval,
my friend and dearest
companion,
companion,
had fallen a victim to me and the
monster
monster
of my creation.
I
I
repassed,
repassed,
in my
memory,
memory,
my whole life; my quiet happiness
while
while
residing with my family in
Geneva, the
Geneva, the
death of my
mother,
mother,
and my departure for
Ingolstadt.
Ingolstadt.
I
I
remembered shuddering at
remembered shuddering at
the mad
enthusiasm
enthusiasm
that hurried me on to the creation of my hideous
enemy,
enemy,
and I called to
mind the night
mind the night
during
during
which he first lived.
I was
I was
unable
unable
to
pursue
pursue
the train of
thought; a
thought; a
thousand feelings pressed upon
me,
me,
and I wept
bitterly.
bitterly.
Ever since my recovery from the
fever
fever
I had been in the custom of taking every night a small quantity of
laudanum;
laudanum;
for it was by means of this drug only that I was enabled to gain the
rest necessary for the preservation of life.
rest necessary for the preservation of life.
Oppressed
Oppressed
by the recollection of my various
misfortunes,
misfortunes,
I now
took a
took a
double
dose,
dose,
and soon slept profoundly. But
sleep did not afford me
sleep did not afford me
respite
respite
from thought
and misery;
and misery;
my dreams
presented
presented
a thousand objects that scared
a thousand objects that scared
me.
me.
Towards
morning
morning
I was
possessed by a kind of
possessed by a kind of
night-mare;
night-mare;
I felt the
fiend’s
fiend’s
grasp
in
in
my
neck,
neck,
and could not free myself from
it; groans
it; groans
and cries rung in my
ears.
ears.
My
father,
father,
who was watching over me,
perceiving my
perceiving my
restlessness, awoke me,
restlessness, awoke me,
and pointed
and pointed
to the port of
to the port of
Holyhead,
Holyhead,
which we were now entering.
which we were now entering.